Dream Theatre: Grey Castle (Part I)

So I have had some extremely wild dreams, horrifingly disturbing and ridiculously adventurous, and I remember them all since I was about 14. I'm guessing due to my oddly active imagination, my love for symbolism, involuntary astral projection, and life experiences, these dreams happen. 

A good friend of mine, Abhinandan, from India is a filmmaker and we had a conversation once about these dreams and my memory of them, and he suggested that I write one in story format, and he'd make a film about it. How rad, right??? So here is the first part of a very frightening dream that I had in June of 2007. He is calling this the Dream Theatre. There are 3 pictures which he drew to illustrate a bit of what was going on in the dream, like visuals. I know there are probably grammatical or spelling mistakes, but I'm not writing a novel, I'm writing my dream.

A little history and my analysis of this dream: I had just been in a pretty horrible relationship with an abusive guy who really had me thinking me was someone else at the beginning. I ended up moving from Texas to Idaho for him and although I only lived there for 4 months, I felt as if I'd never get away from him. I think this dream symbolizes the deepest fears that I had during that time and also that I was never seen, never heard, and when I was heard, I was not only laughed at for speaking up, I was made to feel as if I had no worth simply because I am a female.

So without further adieu, here is Dream Theatre: Grey Castle:



I woke up to find myself without shoes, my hair unwashed matted to the side of my face, and wearing a tattered white gown. I rubbed my eyes and look around me. I was lying in grass. It was green to the point of being surreal. There were birds that are chirping happily. I was in a field surrounded by a lush forest. It was so beautiful. I was in a trance from it. I heard singing and laughter and talking and music in the forest. It seemed so joyful, it drew me in. I wanted to know where it came from. I got up, and although everything seemed so full of life and in good spirits, I could not even force a smile. At that point, I was not sure why. But I would soon find out. 

I started talking towards this siren-like singing and guitar playing, and as I got closer, the music became more intense. I soon started hearing big drums.. a timpany, bongos. Piano keys being pounded with fury instead of joyful tunes.

I entered the forest. The sunlight disappeared. The music ceased. The birds stopped chirping.
I looked down at my feet and noticed that there was a mist rising so quickly from the ground that by the time I realized it, I could no longer see my knees. My thighs. My stomach. I could not see what was right in front of me. I reached my arms out, trying to find my way. I wasn't even sure where exactly I was going. I was freezing cold and wet, as if I had just got done swimming in the north Atlanic Ocean in the middle of January. After a few minutes of silence, I started hearing what sounded like a woman screaming. Not in fear, but in pain. As if someone was tearing out her organs. I ran around in what seemed like circles trying to find her, buther screams did not seem to get any closer and finally, after running and running without any luck of discovering where she may have been... her screams ended. I don't know what they meant, but I assume it was a warning of what was to come.

I was scared, lonely, and still in a state of confusion as to how I had gotten to the forest. After wandering around the misty forest for some time, I remembered the music and singing and laughter. What then had really confused me, is how I had gotten to the field. I lived nowhere near a field like that. It was as if I had been abducted and laid carefully there, with a tattered dress, empty stomach, and unwashed body, as if the abductor was showing me hat horrible things they did to me yet had enough mercy to allow me to keep my life.

Suddenly I heard a crow. I stopped pondering and realized that I could see something. Barely. But it was definitely something. I started walking with haste. Then flat out sprinting towards it. I stopped when I saw that if I had gone an inch forward, I would have fallen off a cliff.

I was out of the woods. I looked back at them. Then ahead. Back at them. The ahead.

Ahead was what you see in old Dracula movies. A bridge of a small sliver of land, just wide enough to cross to the towering black castle with ravens and crows and bats circling it. They eeked and cawed and crowed so loudly that their echoes were boomeranged back to them. I couldn't see what was below the castle. It was like it's own island. The mist still existed, but most things were visible. I could see my hands in front of me. My stomach, My knees. My feet. My dirty, cut up, bleeding feet.

I looked back at the woods once more before crossing the land bridge to the castle. The only thing only thing on my mind at that time was eating something. Anything. I was dizzy and needed to raise my blood sugar levels or I'd be sure to pass out not only from lack of essential vitamins for my body, but from pure exhaustion. I cross the land bridge in 30 minutes,give or take.

I came to a door abut 4 or 5 times my height and knock on it.

BOOM BOOM BOOM.

No answer. I tried again.

BOOM BOOM BOOM.

No answer. I tried again.

BOOM BOOM...

The door creaked open slightly.

I pushed it open. Stared into darkness. Then descended into that darkness. I didn't want to say anything for fear someone would misunderstand my tone or words or anything. It was completely dark and again, I was without vision.

I stood there for a moment, unknowing of what to do next, and also wondering who opened the door. All of the sudden, lights turned on in the entire castle accompanied by a horrendous sounding... shreik... if that was even what it was. I looked at my feet, I guess to make sure I could still see them, my knees, and my stomach. I could. Something was strange. It was very strange. Maybe because of what I had just endured was also so strange that I did not realized it at the time, but it hit me. There was no colour. The blood on my feet, legs, hands, and arms... it wasn't red. I spotted a mirror on the wall to the left of the lobby that I was standing in. 
I saw my reflection.
My hair was not it's reddish brown colour. 
My eyes were not blue. 
My lips were not pink. 
Everything was grey. Or a variation of black and white. I looked at the wall. There was a grand stairwell that went to the second floor, opening at each side. I looked to door that I had come in from. I looked around. White, grey, black, charcoal, raven... everywhere. Everything was colourless. I turned back to my reflection and stared at my face. My pale white skin. My charcoal hair. 

 Then out of the corner of my grey eyes, I saw something move. In the mirror, behind me. In the room, I'm assuming what they called ''the drawing room'' or ''the sitting room'' in Victorian times, there was movement. Just slightly. Not of someone walking, but a quick movement.

I turned and walked toward the room only semi-cautiously, curious as to what was disturbing the solitude of this castle. When I entered the room, I saw a person, a female... sitting on a couch that was facing away from me, towards a lit fireplace. How had I not seen that light when I entered the castle? How had I not smelled it? There was something odd about how this woman was sitting. Her head was tilted to the right so much so that her ear almost touched her shoulder. It looked uncomfortable. As I approached, I heard a noise coming from near her. I was not sure if it was her or not, but it was near her.

I walked around the couch to see her face. And what I saw... was disturbing. It terrified me to where my bones felt as if they were made of ice.

I looked at her face. This woman, she was young. She had pale white skin. She had charcoal hair. She had grey eyes that were opened as wide as they could go and were staring straight ahead into the fireplace. This woman... she was me. She was smiling an unnaturally big smile. Her lips were sewn together with something.
Hair.
Charcoal hair.
Charcoal human hair.
Her hair.
My hair.
I was frozen. I had no idea what to do. Her positioning was disturbing. Her head was propped on her right shoulder. Her hands curled as if she was an old woman with arthritis. Her fingernails were long and punctured the palm of her bloody hands. I just stared at her. At me.
Just as I was about to leave the room, there was a loud crack, like lightning from a thunderstorm had struck the room, right beside me. The fire in the fireplace rose, then within less than 5 seconds, faded to just smoke, then nothing. I heard that scream again.The same agonizing scream from the forest. The woman who I could not find. It was coming from the chimney.

As her scream grew louder, chimney smoke filled the room. It blackened everything out. I couldn't see. I looked around panicking, trying my best not to inhale the smoke. In an instant, it was gone as if it had never been present. I looked back down at the woman, at me. Her eyes were fixed on me. Wide open, grey eyes. Then they shot to the corner of the room. I looked there, too. I saw a small yellow light bobbing up and down. Then two yellow lights. Eyes. They were eyes. Something was there. Something was jumping up and down. I squinted to get a better look but it was too dark. I took a step forward to see what it was. Just as my foot touched the ground, a noise came from the corner of the room where the yellow eyed thing was. I cannot explain the noise in words... it was just an abnormal sound. An inhuman sound. It seemed as if this thing was laughing at me. An inhuman, sinister laugh. I was about to walk closer to it when the eyes disappeared and the woman, me, made a sound. I whipped my head around to look at her... she was trying to communicate with me. Our eyes met. Her head started to move... it was shaking. She freed it from the position that it was in, on her right shoulder. Her right ear and some skin from the right side of her face was melted onto her shoulder. Her head was now straight, in a normal position, her eyes still wide, she seemed like she was trying to talk, but she couldn't due to her lips being sewn shut. Just then, a blade cut the hair that was sewn around her lips. Her mouth opened wide. Wider than it should have. A scream. THAT scream.... from the forest.. it was coming from her, from me. Her teeth started to fall from her mouth. A knife dropped from it, too. Her mouth opened so wide. I just stood and stared in horror. Something was in her mouth. 
A finger. 
A white finger. 
Then a hand. 
Still with her eyes wide and staring at me, the bottom part of her jaw fell off and an arm, then a head, then the body of a girl came out of her mouth, my mouth. 
She flopped on the floor like a fish out of water for a few seconds, then got enough strength to hold herself up by her arms, but her legs.. they were small, like she had polio. She looked at me, angrily, envious. She had those eyes. Those yellow eyes. And long black hair that hung in front of her face in some parts, matted to the side of her head in some parts. She was unnaturally skinny, her face was sunken in, I could see all of her bones, her ribs, her hip bones, she had enough breasts to know that she was a female, but they were shriveled. It seemed as if all of the liquid had been drained from her. I just stared. I couldn't move. She opened her mouth and the shreik.. that I heard when the lights came on, it escaped her. It was so loud that the house shook. She put one arm in front of the other and moved towards me. Her legs dragged behind her. There was blood but I wasn't sure where it was coming from. Her movement were stiff but quick. I backed away, I still felt like I couldn't move. She opened her mouth again. The same shreik. The house shook. I fell. She stared at me, still angrily, and lifted her nose like a dog as if she could smell my fear and confusion. She moved again towards me. 
Right arm, left arm, right arm, left arm, her lower half turning as she moved. Stiffly.

I managed to stand up and run to the door. It was so heavy. I couldn't open it. My eyes scanned the lobby.. where could I go?

Right arm, left arm, right arm, left arm...

I started running up the stairs. By the time I got to the first landing that led me to the second floor, I turned back and saw the girl-thing trying to climb the stairs. Deep, gutteral noises of frustration were coming from her as she tried her hardest to make it up the first step. She looked up at me with more hate than anyone I have ever seen. Once more, she tried hoisting herself onto the first step. I don't how this happened, maybe it's because she tried too hard... but she...turned to dust. A pile of her dust, ashes, powder, whatever... lay just before the first step. I didn't dare go back down there and even though I should have learned through horror movies that I'd seen... I turned to my right and walked down the long dark hallway.

It was completely silent. Absolutely no noise. I noticed after a few moments of wandering, that I could not even hear my footsteps, my breath, the constant sniffling of my nose. It was as if I had lost my own hearing. I looked at a big grandfather clock on the wall. It was working, but I could not hear the ticking. I looked out the window and saw the crows and bats and ravens flying around, their beaks open as if they were crowing and cawing and eeking... but no noise whatsoever.

Then it came. The shreik. The loud, house shaking shreik. I ran into the next room that I could.

The door slammed shut with the last shreik/house shake. I don't know if I was scared by the sudden shreik or startled from finally being able to hear again. I stood in the middle of the room. It was a bedroom. I saw a mirror and talked to it. My hair was still charcoal. My skin was still pale white. My eyes were still grey.

Shit. What's going on here? I looked down at my feet, my knees, my stomach, my torn and tattered dress. As I felt my dress, I realized that it wasn't mine. I don't wear white. I woke up with it on, torn. I tried to run my fingers through my hair but I couldn't. It was dirty and wet. Wet? It was still wet from being in the misty forest. Shouldn't it have dried by now? At least a little? It was still dripping wet. I grabbed it and squeezed it like a towel, to dry it a little. It looked as if I could have filled an entire soup bowl of water from my hair. I got out almost all of the excess water from it. 
I walked over to a music box on the dresser and opened it. It was a classical music box with a ballerina. She was facing towards the back of the box. On the back left side there was a knob to wind it up. I turned it once to see which song played. The ballerina's position was was with her arms raised above her head, her left leg straight standing on her toes, and her right leg bent with her right foot touching her left thigh. The song started to play. I recognized it.

Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven.

I love that song.

I was admiring the music and trying to brush some of the dirt off my body when I glanced at the ballerina. She was moving in circles, as music box dancers tend to do. When she started turning toward me, that's when I noticed it.

That was the only colour I have seen since I've entered the castle.

Her hair was shoulder length, wavy, and blonde.

Her face had tiny freckles on it.

Her eyes were bright blue.

She looked exactly like my mom.

She was my mom. And she was staring at me with a horrified look on her face, as if she knew what had happened to me, what was happening to me, and could foresee what was going to happen to me. I watched her for few more seconds until she danced around to me again, but this time she was looking past me, to the other side of the room, to the bathroom. The music stopped, and so did she. But she kept staring. Her eyes wide with fear. I looked to the bathroom door. It was open. I didn't take notice if it was open or not when I ran into the bedroom. I heard water dripping lightly, so I went to turn it off. I entered the bathroom and was amazed not only at how elaborate it was, but also how clean it was. It was almost like someone had focused their cleaning only on that part of the house. There was a claw foot bathtub with a paisley design on it on the far left side of the room and a sink with a mirror that was broken perfectly in half, horizontally. The toilet was sitting against the same wall that the bathroom door was on, between the sink and the bathtub.

I went to the sink, washed my face, and drank some water from my hand. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed thatmy hair was dripping wet again. I thought it as weird, but I didn't py much attention to it. I went over to the toilet, which had privacy walls on either side of it and sat down, leaning against the left most wall. I sat and thought about how I had gotten to the field. What that thing was in the sitting room. Why I saw myself. At this point, I was exhausted and needed to just....close....my eyes.... a little....

I don't know what time it was when I finally reopened my eyes, but I felt much better. I don't know what time it was when I closed them, nor did I know much of anything at that moment. I started thinking about Moonlight Sonata. About the ballerina. About my mom. Then all of the sudden, I realized that the music box was playing, not just in my mind, and I remember the ballerina's face and then remember why I was in the bathroom. I was still leaning against the left most privacy wall and sat in silence for a moment until I heard a noise. It sounded like gagging. I leaned a little to my left and looked at the mirror. On the top part of the broken mirror I saw the reflection of something black.

It was hair.

Something... someone.. was on the ceiling. I looked back quickly in fear and saw a girl hanging from the ceiling. I don't know what she was hanging from, but her neck was bent forward and her limbs were just dangling there. I stood up and looked her long enough to hear her say, ''black and white, never wrong, never right.''

I ran back into the bedroom and screamed when I saw the bed. It was a canopy-less bed with four canopy posts. There were probably ten ropes tied to each post and held together in the middle by a girl. She had charcoal hair, like mine. 

But she was without a face.

...To Be Continued...