2. Depression makes you selfish. It's very hard to think of other people when you're wrapped in a prickly blanket of sadness, and all you can think about is your own pain. Be proactive and take the steps you need to heal.
3. Depression is experienced as anxiety 65 percent of the time. Make sure you get an accurate diagnosis, so you can get the most effective treatment available.
4. Persistent irritability can be a symptom of depression. If the world, your life, or your loved ones constantly tick you off, the cause might be something that's going on inside of you.
5. Chronic pain can be another symptom of depression. At the same time, being in continual discomfort can cause you to become depressed. When you are depressed and in pain, it can be hard to know which came first.
6. Alcohol is a depressant. So are marijuana and a host of other recreational or street drugs. Self-medication is not going to get you better and will surely make you worse over time. Remember that all medications, including anti-depressants, have side effects.
7. People don't choose to be depressed, but they do make a choice about how to deal with it. You can choose to do nothing, but denying that you have a problem will only make you feel worse.
8. The origin of depression can be situational and/or bio-chemical. If you are experiencing mild to moderate situational depression (resulting from the loss of a job, for example), counseling will help you. Most bio-chemical depressions that are moderate to severe are best treated with a combination of medicine and psychotherapy.
9. Depression can be as hard on your loved ones as it is on you. Those closest to you may start to feel unloved, and may distance themselves so they aren't pulled into your pain. Remember that others are counting on you.
10. Exercise is the easiest and least expensive cure for depression. Just walking 30 minutes a day will help you and sometimes completely alleviate your symptoms. For this very reason, many therapists take walks with clients instead of doing "couch time."
| 11. |
Of the estimated
17.5 million Americans who are affected by some form of depression, 9.2
million have major or clinical depression
|
| 12. |
Two-thirds of
people suffering from depression do not seek necessary treatment
|
| 13. |
80% of all people
with clinical depression who have received treatment significantly
improve their lives
|
| 14. |
The economic cost
of depression is estimated at $30.4 billion a year but the cost in human
suffering cannot be estimated
|
| 15. |
Women experience
depression about twice as often as men
|
| 16. |
By the year 2020,
the World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that depression will be the
number two cause of "lost years of healthy life" worldwide
|
I had a really great childhood. I was always kind of the ''weird one'' in my group of friends, but I still had some really great friends throughout middle school and high school. I was bullied a good bit but it never really got to me, I guess because I knew the people who were doing it were not worthy of my tears or fears.
When I was 16, about the time that I started dating my school sweetheart, Chuck, my world completely changed. I think many people blamed him for it, but it was just bad timing I guess, that he entered my life in such a way when I was faced with it.
Previously, I was a very devout Lutheran. I went to church and Sunday school every Sunday, youth groups, retreats, anything that I could do to be involved with my church, I'd do it without question.
Around the time Chuck and I started dating, I became depressed. At first, I thought I missed summer or something, since it was taking over my mind in the late fall.
It started out by me feeling like I no longer had enjoyment in things like going to church, or playing tennis (on my high school team), and eventually my friends started dropping like flies. About 3 of them seemed like they cared.
As the months went by, I became rather antisocial, really only wanting to hang out with Chuck and my only friend at the time, Katie.
I had a few former friends who thought Chuck had gotten me into drugs or something, I guess because he fit the part of the stereotypical high school ''druggie''... in a band, long hair, raggedy clothes, and he got around town via skateboard. Honestly, I never intentionally did drugs during my high school years, nor did I even drink alcohol. Chuck was very much against that and he really talked me out of trying pot for the first time when I was 17, so I just ended up not caring whether or not I tried it.
I started lashing out at my parents and teachers, I stopped caring about.... everything, really. At one point in time, I was failing every single one of my classes in school. And I just didn't care. I had lost all motivation to do anything.
My parents got concerned because all I'd listen to was Nirvana. I had a 5 disc stereo and every cd I had in was Nirvana. For some reason they didn't like that, I guess because I previously listened to upbeat Christian music.
One night, I called my childhood best friend who I had sort of grew apart from a bit because of this. I told her that I was feeling suicidal. Her response to that was, ''Jimmy (her boyfriend) is coming over in a few minutes, I can't talk now.''
12 years of best friendship and that's what I fucking get?
Some friend.
After that, I became angry at her and all of our mutual friends who sort of took her side after we completely split ties.
No one tried to find out what was wrong with me, they just didn't like my boyfriend, without even talking to him.
By the end of my 11th grade school year, I had attempted suicide 3 times. Although I still fiercely believed in God, I prayed every night that I wouldn't live through the night to see the next day. And I got angry and frustrated when I'd groggily open my eyes.
I hated myself.
Whenever I looked at myself in the mirror, I wanted to gouge my eyes out, pull my hair out, punch the mirror and slice my throat with a broke piece.
I absolutely hated being Dara.
I hated my family, I hated the people who used to be my friends, I hated everything and everyone. I'd constantly fight with my parents, who I'd ALWAYS had a wonderful relationship with.
I stopped taking care of myself. I'd shower maybe once a week, and slept as much as I could. I had a job that I worked after school during the summer and winter (fall was tennis season and spring was track & field season), I'd get home from school around 3 and had to be at work at 4, which was across town (like a 10 minute drive). I'd get home and go to sleep up until I had to leave for work. I wouldn't eat for days, until I felt like I was going to pass out from low blood sugar. I just... didn't give a fuck.
I lost all hope for a future. I always said that if I made it past the age of 18, I'd be surprised.
I finally saw a counselor who told me that I was depressed, and I'm not sure why I didn't think of it, I thought I was just going through what normal 16 year old go through.
I had no motivation though, to help myself. I just wanted to die.
No one understood it. My parents didn't know how to deal with it. My friend. I didn't even know. I remember the thing that made Chuck and I so close was that we were both depressed and we sort of fed off of each other's depression, and somehow that made me feel a tiny bit better. You know, knowing that SOMEONE gets it. That SOMEONE knows how it feels to wish they'd have died during the night.
If I had told that to someone who didn't understand the feeling, I can't even imagine the looks and comments they'd give me.
I felt like I was in an altered state of consciousness. I did not feel like me. I did not feel human. My heart was beating and my blood was running, but I felt dead. And I wanted to be.
By mid-12 grade year, I had another 4 more suicide attempts to count for.
I just wanted to get out of high school. I was sick of the people, sick of the teachers, sick of everything. I was sick of being told, ''just be happy!''
I finally graduated.
I busted my ass, but I graduated.
Barely.
In mid-summer of 2005, I began to see light at the end of the tunnel.
I was wanting to get out into the world and free myself of the restraints of childhood and adolescents.
I wanted to explore and meet people.
After a while, I realized that I was hopeful.
I ended things (only to be on again/off again for another 6 months) with Chuck because as I was seeing the light, he wanted to keep ahold of me and my depression.
If I had stayed with him, I would surely not be here writing this. I would have made sure I'd have done it right.
At age 19, I moved to Texas and soon after, I started dating a guy with whom I worked. Bad idea. He introduced me to heavy drinking and drugs. I was on and off with him for 5 years, with other equally bad influencing boyfriends in between, one of who was a schizophrenic whose medicine was alcohol and cocaine.
When I was 20, I was diagnosed with cyclothymic bipolar disorder. That is when you experience the high highs of mania and the low lows of depression, but not in such a severe way as the first two levels of bipolar disorder, and it's more sporadic. It's a sub threshold of bipolar disorder.
I have had 3 other temporary periods of depression, all lasting about 5-8 months each.
Now I know what to do to keep my head above sinking level, even though I still (all too) often become manic, I haven't had a depressive period for over 2 years.
I eat (rather) healthy, I exercise, I avoid alcohol and drugs, and I live life to be happy.
I became a vegetarian at a young age and a vegan age 18. Staying away from dairy helps me really keep my mind sharp and focused. When I add into the equation actual healthy eating, it's multiplied by 10000. Clean eating is a definite bonus when struggling with mood disorders because feeling physically unwell is one more thing you don't have to worry about.
I make sure to get some exercise, be it a walk around the block, lifting weights, sports... anything to get the blood flowing and endorphins released, at least 5 times a week.
It's been over a year since I've stopped drinking and although I do miss those fruity little drinks, drinking is not as important as remembering the days I have with my family and friends. From ages 19-25, I drank like a filthy fish! I also don't smoke weed anymore. I don't have a problem with it, but personally, it unhinges me. I can't handle it. It gets me high and when I come off the high, I sink like a cement block.
I do things that make me happy. That's an important thing in life. I don't let little stresses get to me.
I am a fortunate individual because I do not regret ever having depression and going through this. It has made me a brick wall. I am strong as hell. It broke down my self-esteem, my confidence, my life, and I picked myself up and rebuilt a whole new me.
I am happy, I am joyful, and I have attained more patience and compassion than I would have, had I not prayed to God to take my life every night.
I ditched Christianity when I was 19 for something that makes more sense to me- Pagan Pantheism. Maybe not for everyone, but it works for me. No offense, Jesus.
I am no longer angry, lost, confused, or hopeless.
I am happy.
I am a white female who grew up with a loving family in middle class America. I never needed anything. I was never traumatized as a child.
I somehow became depressed. It's a chemical imbalance in your brain. it's not a racial or social status related disorder. It can be hereditary.
Depression effected me in more ways than I realized at the time. During my first and longest period of depression (which was about 2 1/2 years), I wanted to do nothing but sleep. I was so tired all the time. I didn't eat much. My entire body hurt. I got aches and pains all over. Everyday I had a headache, maybe that's why I wanted to sleep a lot.
On March 21, 2012, one of my closest friends, Anthony Trevino, lost his battle with depression and substance abuse. I miss him everyday.
If you are or you know someone who is or may be depressed, please get (them) help. It may save your life or theirs.
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